Saturday, September 7, 2013
Blogtember here I come!
So I came upon this challenge on A Plethora of Pondering's blog...(never mind that there is an apostrophe in that last word. It drives me nuts, but maybe that's why she does it. I'm just putting it out there as it's stated on her blog title.) The original challenge blogger asked bloggers to write a post stemming from an idea or question or activity, one being listed for each weekday of the month of September. Yeah, forget that it's already the 7th of the month and I'm just getting around to it. Nobody reads my blog anyway. :(
Yesterday's idea was to write about a time when something made you scared or afraid.
My childhood was filled with times like this! No kidding. My father was an alcoholic. Not one of those fun-loving, dance-with-a-lampshade-on-your-head kind either. He was the mean, violent kind. The kind that scares everyone. Especially little kids. My young life consisted of going to bed early, locking the bedroom door (a dead bolt was later installed), and shivering in bed waiting for sleep to take over before HE came home and woke the house. At some point, my dear mom joined me in my bedroom to sleep at night. She was tired of being brutalized and hurt, physically and emotionally. Not that being locked in a bedroom kept things quiet. No. Yelling, throwing things, stomping and all sorts of things happened that scare kids.
It took me a long time to trust men and realize that not all men are like my father. I married the dearest man alive that has proved it to me. It also took me a long time to not be afraid of the dark. I slept with night lights, flashlights and often some sort of weapon (a stick, baton or other battle-worthy object) for protection.
That man, biologically my father, will not take a hold of my life. He is not going to make me afraid anymore or weigh down my soul. I suppose I have forgiven him, but mostly I have forgotten him. It isn't important really. He had a disease, if you want to call it that, and he suffered with it. Too bad he had to make so many others suffer along with him.
God, I hope the next blog idea is more enlightening!